Praise the Lord today has been a really good day and I am not talking about in the food department. The first two days were frantic in that regard. Knowing it was a liquids only diet, I was all about trying to see what I could drink. Today, I am more focused on the Lord and His presence. He is my sustenance. He always has been and always will be. This fast is just making me more keenly aware of it.
I have learned that I am going through a purification process of sorts. In my Bible reading time today I read Acts 21. In verses 26 and 27 Paul had taken the vow of a Nazarite. From what I can tell without further study, there was a purification process that was seven days long. Reading Acts is the reason that I knew I was to fast for seven days and now God showed me this today. I want Him to purify me. The problem is I didn’t think I needed much more purifying. I thought I had gotten it all “out”.
Back in 2013 I went through a season of consequence. It was miserable but also beautiful because God had to prune me and purify me. He had to get some things out of me that needed to go. Painfully I knew about some of them and others I did not. They sort of sneaked up and in my life. The world is like that you know. It is subtle, cunning and tempting. We want what we want when we want it and we also don’t care about our actions as long as we get what we want. Eventually we find ourselves drifting away from the absolutes in God’s Word and adjusting the Bible to our liking rather than adjusting ourselves. Ouch again.
So it is not that I thought I had nothing to confess or repent of, I just thought I had cleaned up my act so to speak. God has truly done a work in my life, He has refined me and allowed me to be used for His purposes. He just loves me enough that He wanted to do a little follow up cleaning.
Open doors are risky business. Once you open the door and give the enemy a foothold he has a legal right to accuse you before the Father. You may confess and repent and even change your behavior but the door still has to be shut. I think that is what this fast is about. (along with some intercession for certain people) To have the enemy come against you with the fury of hell is an awful thing, but even worse is when it happens because you let him. But GREATER is He that is in me than he that is in this world. (1 John 4:4)
I am choosing to NOT fret about this. I am choosing to stay in peace. I am choosing to let God do this and be thankful that He never gives up on me. I am choosing to let Him shut the door, He doesn’t need my help. What He needs, what He requires, is that I admit I opened the door and got myself into the mess in first place. He doesn’t need me trying to figure out some method or prayer strategy. He wants me to surrender, totally and completely surrender. He has just been waiting for me to ask Him to shut the door, His way. He doesn’t need me fighting and routing demons, He doesn’t need me writhing on the floor. He requires my obedience, it is more acceptable to Him than a million sacrifices. I know many will disagree with me here. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with getting down to the “root” of a matter. If you have anger it needs to go. If you depend on money to make you happy, that is an idol and it has to go. If you drink too much, you need to put it down. If you abuse prescription drugs, you need to get help and flush them. If you want what others have, then you need to learn to be thankful for what you have. If you have unforgiveness and or bitterness toward someone. You have to lay it down and forgive. If you like pornography, you need to come clean. The list goes on and on. I guess what I am saying is God doesn’t need me to do anything except confess, repent and let Him make the change in my life.
I am tired of fighting battles I was never meant to fight. I am tired of trying to outsmart an enemy that has been defeated by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and is now under my feet.
Today has been a good day. Tomorrow will be even better because I am learning to surrender and let God take the lead. He is Jehovah Nissi, The Lord my Banner and He is Jehovah Shalom, The Lord my Peace. My job is to follow and rest. The war has been won and these little battles down here are nothing for Him.