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Know Your Family's Love Languages (by Kimberly Fulgham)

“Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God.” (1 Timothy 5:8)

It was a chaotic Thursday evening.  I was trying to help with homework, cook dinner, and avoid tripping over a hungry dog.  Neighborhood kids were running through the front door and out the back, the phone was ringing, and my kids were fighting…please tell me I am not the only one who has days like this!  In that moment, I had to remind myself how this chaos was really a blessing.

But the kids fighting was just too much for me.  I know God commands us to love one another, especially our family.  Where was the disconnect?  I thought of myself as being very well versed in the love language department.  I studied “The 5 Love Languages” book by Gary Chapman, as well as, “The 5 Love Languages of Children.”  I just knew I had this all figured out.  However, I have four other people living under my roof and each one of them has a different love language. Yes, God has a sense of humor.

It never occurred to me that my husband and I might be tuned into the love languages, but my kids were not tuned in to each others!  I just assumed they understood each other.  On that Thursday afternoon, God prompted me to stop everything I was doing and have a love language intervention.  My husband was on a business call, but I knew this could not wait.  I called them all into the living room.

I explained to them that God makes us all unique with our own love languages.  Some people have the same love language, but it just so happened that, in this house, each one is different.  So I pulled out my book and began reading the shortened version of each of the love languages: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service.  They instantly shouted out who belonged in what category.  It astonished me how quickly they understood.  After a thirty minute discussion, they quickly forgave one another for their misunderstandings.  Now I believe that I can safely say that they get each other.

Then it was bedtime, and, sisters, I cannot make this stuff up.  I was getting ready to read the devotion to the girls and it started out with the above scripture.  I called my son to join in on the devotion.  It read: “Your most prized possession is not your cool new toy or a video game or anything you can buy.  Your most prized possession is, of course, your family.  Your family is a priceless gift from God.  Treasure it, protect it, and dedicate it to Him.  When you place God at the center of your family, He will bless your family forever.”  One of the girls looked at me and said, “God sure did want us to learn how to love our family well.”

My challenge for you this week is to discover what your love language is if you don’t already know it.  Then find out the love language of those who live in your home.  If you have children in your home, make sure that they are tuned into each others love language.  Let them know how important it is to have God at the center of your family and to love each other well.  Hopefully, it will keep at least one aspect of the chaos down.

Loving well,

Kimberly

To read more from Kimberly, go to her website https://www.authenticwomen.org/ 

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Rene' Collins

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