“She rewards him with good,” Proverbs 31:12
One night recently, as Rip and I ended our day in his big comfy recliner, I asked him, “What is one of your most important needs that, as your woman, I help to meet?” As we rocked in that chair together, he didn’t take but a second to say, “This. This right here. Baby, no one else on God’s green earth can give me this, and it’s ending my day with you and being heard. You let me sit here and unload stuff off my back. You hear me. And I know you do because you don’t jump in. You listen to understand and I feel it. There’s a difference between listening and hearing, and on some days I need that. That’s huge, baby. That’s huge.”
One of your man’s greatest needs is to be heard.
Sometimes Rip may sit in that recliner and not say a word, but I can hear through his silence and through his facial expressions that he’s had a hard day or has a lot on his mind and just needs a moment for all that to be “heard.”
A famous man said once, “You’re short on ears and long on mouth.” ― John Wayne
Unfortunately, that tends to be the case more than not. But here’s something to think about…when you listen, when you really hear your man, you are “rewarding him with good” and honoring God. And when we do anything that honors God, that is worship.
Louie Giglio has said, “Our worship is more about what we do than what we say.” ~ Do we really hear our man?
When you give wholehearted hearing to your man as he speaks – either through his words, actions, or silence – you are offering to God a form of worship. Now, that alone should encourage us all to no longer live long on mouth and short on ears.
Practical Tip: When you can, end your day in your man’s arms. Just go sit beside him. Just be there. He may not start sharing with you or talking with you about all the things he needs to just get off his chest, and that’s ok. He may just enjoy your being next to him. And that’s “hearing” him, too. But in the consistency of simply being there, he’ll begin to see the pattern of those predictable moments together and I’m telling you, it will mean the world to him. Rip and I sit together in front of our children and they are so accustomed to the sight that if we are in the family room sitting separately they think something is wrong.
If you’re dating, end the day on the phone – not texting – but say something to him like this, “I want you to know that I’m here to hear you. I really do love hearing what you have to say and cherishing what you don’t say. I’m grateful to be someone in your life who “gets to” hear you. Not interrupt. Not try to help fix anything. And not jump in as soon as you may take a breath. But to hear you.” Try it….maybe not in that exact wording, but try in your own ways of letting him know you are here to hear him.